Lessons Aren't Repeated Until They're Learned ; They're Repeated Until They're Mastered

Lessons Aren't Repeated Until They're Learned ; They're Repeated Until They're Mastered

Finally understanding I don't need anyone who depreciates my value

Lessons Aren't Repeated Until They're Learned; They're Repeated Until They're Mastered.

You see, since I was 15 I've always felt a need to be in a relationship. Because of this yearning to be around someone else (so I wouldn't have to deal with the issues I was really running from) I would remain in unhealthy, unhappy, abusive relationships. Before I continue I think I should explain that not all of them were physical, however, anyone that intentionally inflicts pain on another human - whether through actions or words- is abusive. Anyway, I thought I had mastered this lesson before because I mustered up the strength to leave a physically violent situation just to find myself in an emotionally violent and unstable one. This time I had to finally be the "sane" one & ask myself, "How?"
Well it's actually quite simple. Thanks to the baggage I've held on to since my adolescent  years I've always subconsciously found myself unworthy of anything else other than pain. In some sick way, I found pain, chaos, and dysfunction  to be something that was normal instead of realizing the truth.

Finally Realizing I Don't Need Anyone Who Depreciates My Value

I had been desperately trying to avoid or get to know Him despite the many times I've personally wanted to. It's just thanks to all of the pain I've endured through life I didn't want to put my hope in something just for it not to work out like I had imagined. However, knowing Jesus has actually been the best decision I had ever made. Why? Well while He is THE ONLY one allowed to judge me and my flaws, but He doesn't hold me to that since once I accepted Him as my Lord and savior He knows I am no longer that foolish girl anymore. He doesn't remind me of my mistakes because He's redeemed them all! He doesn't care about how I look physically because what he looks at and judges me by is my heart. And since my heart is with Him, I am deserving of every marvelous promise that He's ever made! Now that I REALLY understand what He's been trying to teach me through these repetitive lessons, I'm confident that the only way I could be that foolish girl anymore is if I allowed myself to continue to receive a love lower than what He has set an example for me to receive.

Moral of the story: You were not designed to live your life in fear or dysfunction. You were created with the power to change the world - not people. While you are a very powerful person - it is NOT your job to change the perception others have of you. It is, however, your job to guard the energy and vibes you ALLOW around you.
You are a light that gives hope in darkness and you'll never be able to shine if you surround yourself with those who deliberately aim to dim it instead of helping to lift you higher.
Stop asking yourself why you keep finding yourself in the same situation, and instead focus your energy on learning (and accepting) the lesson life's been trying to teach you.